How is it possible? This lonliness? Youre not real! I gave to my family, gave to my friends but you snuck in the door “lonliness”, youre not real!
Who are you and who am I? Speak to me lonliness. You invited yourself in and yet you dont speak. Show your ugly face lonliness. Youre not real!
You are a coward lonliness. You hide in my shadows and dine on me. Your silent laughter sucks my soul and calls me to a place of not. You are a black hole in my mind with no return. Youre not real!
Show yourself so I can fight you lonliness. You lead me down the dark path of doubt but youre not real!
Others see my surfaced light and see only strength. I dare not whisper help for fear they will see my weakness. Lonliness are you real?
My eyes well up with tears of lonliness. Is that you speaking? Are you real?
You blanket me with sadness and I feel you lonliness. That is you isnt it? You are REAL!
An unspoken, kept in a closet, subject so many women don’t speak. I am speaking it so I can heal.
Embrace this blog with grace. (CLICK ON THE YOU-TUBE LINK)
There comes a time in a woman’s life when no matter how much we try and deny it, age has a affect on our lives. This reality can come in small packages like a first deep wrinkle or huge awakenings for an long overdue DR visit. In any case, it will come. The undeniable fact wont let you pass by it, no matter how in control or prepared one believes they are .
For me, saying goodbye to a life long friend is my reality. She served me well. For 9 months she held and nurtured each of my precious children. Together we wrapped, fed and watched over them as they grew. So many times she even protected them for me. She grafted the bond between a mother an a child, holding us close as she fed life’s blood into their souls. She warned me ahead of time if I refused to rest, grounding me until danger had lifted. When her work was almost complete she talked with me, quieted my mind, opened a clearer channel to Gods listening ear, letting me know, time was drawing near. A door was opened and she let go. The cords were cut as she said goodbye, quieting herself, allowing me to comfort her. There were times we struggled to save the weakest gifts but it was not meant to be. She talked with God and together they decided. I fought and cried but she stood her ground. She released them back into his waiting arms, letting me know we were OK.
…….and now…….
She raised her voice one last time, letting me know she is tired and her work is complete. Hers is not a quiet voice. I have no choice. The clearer channel to Gods listening ear is open again. I fought and cried, prayed and pleaded but he stands his ground.
He is quieting my mind telling me its time to say goodbye. Its my turn to release her back into his waiting arms. There are no word but a quiet memory of our time together. Thank you my old friend.
One last walk you and I take. I am meeting God at the gates. What will I see? What will we say? Will I let go?
FOOTPRINTS IN THE SAND
One night a woman had a dream. She dreamed she was walking along the beach with the LORD. Across the sky flashed scenes from her life. For each scene she noticed two sets of footprints in the sand. One belonging to her and the other to the LORD.
When the last scene of her life flashed before her, she looked back at the footprints in the sand. She noticed that many times along the path of her life there was only one set of footprints. She also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times of her life.
This really bothered her and she questioned the LORD about it. LORD you said that once I decided to follow you, you’d walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints. I don’t understand why when I needed you most you would leave me.
The LORD replied, my precious, precious child, I Love you and I would never leave you! During your times of trial and suffering when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
I have the honors of knowing these cast members, calling them my friends. You will be hearing their names a lot. Please check out their web site. Watch for them. They may be performing in your town soon…… http://www.crgdrama.com/CRG REPERTORY PRODUCTIONS
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
She: I found it! He: You found it? Where was it? She: In my eye. Him: In her eye? He: In her eye! Him: Well done my sweet…. He: Not her left eye? Him: It had gone round the side. He: I knew it hadn’t gone far!
seveninnercircles 