LONLINESS IS REAL

How is it possible? This lonliness? Youre not real! I gave to my family, gave to my friends but you snuck in the door “lonliness”,  youre not real!

Who are you and who am I?  Speak to me lonliness. You invited yourself in and yet you dont speak. Show your ugly face lonliness. Youre not real!

You are a coward lonliness. You hide in my shadows and dine on me. Your silent laughter sucks my soul and calls me to a place of not. You are a black hole in my mind with no return. Youre not real!

Show yourself so I can fight you lonliness. You lead me down the dark path of doubt but youre not real!

Others see my surfaced light and see only strength. I dare not whisper help for fear they will see my weakness. Lonliness are you real?

My eyes well up with tears of lonliness. Is that you speaking? Are you real?

You blanket me with sadness and I feel you lonliness. That is you isnt it? You are REAL!

I dont like your taste lonliness. You are REAL!

I see your ugly face. You are REAL!

“HELP ME’, I yell,

LONLINESS IS REAL!

 

 

What If…….

What if, is an infinite question asked with no answer. It floats in our minds when faced with decision.

What if I…….

What if you……

There is no name to that road. No past, no future, just the empty unwritten canvas. I didn’t hear your cries.

What if……

I had heard your cry for help? Would it have changed history?

What if…..

I had called? Would you have confided? Would you be here today?

What if…..

is all I have yesterday, today and tomorrow? It haunts my thoughts, hoping to hold on to time for one more second, one more moment, one more hour, one more day to reach for you, talk with you, see you.

What if……

My sweet friend, you came back and stopped these tears? Come back.

What if……

FORGIVENESS CHALLENGE

Our world needs this forgiveness challenge.

Do you know what I think?

I think before anyone can progress they must forgive themselves.

It is the answer to all.

If we forgive ourselves the world will be easy to heal.

For if we fill nothing but LOVE inside our own souls what else is there to share to the world but LOVE?

GO TO: http://forgivenesschallenge.com/

Join me.

Tamara

MY PERSONAL STORY: A SPOKEN FAREWELL.

An unspoken, kept in a closet, subject so many women don’t speak. I am speaking it so I can heal.

Embrace this blog with grace. (CLICK ON THE YOU-TUBE LINK)

 

There comes a time in a woman’s life when no matter how much we try and deny it, age has a affect on our lives. This reality can come in small packages like a first deep wrinkle or huge awakenings for an long overdue DR visit. In any case, it will come. The undeniable fact wont let you pass by it, no matter how in control or prepared one believes they are .

For me, saying goodbye to a life long friend is my reality. She served me well. For 9 months she held and nurtured each of my precious children. Together we wrapped, fed and watched over them as they grew. So many times she even protected them for me. She grafted the bond between a mother an a child, holding us close as she fed life’s blood into their souls. She warned me ahead of time if I refused to rest, grounding me until danger had lifted. When her work was almost complete she talked with me, quieted my mind, opened a clearer channel to Gods listening ear, letting me know, time was drawing near. A door was opened and she let go. The cords were cut as she said goodbye, quieting herself, allowing me to comfort her. There were times we struggled to save the weakest gifts but it was not meant to be. She talked with God and together they decided. I fought and cried but she stood her ground. She released them back into his waiting arms, letting me know we were OK.

…….and now…….

She raised her voice one last time, letting me know she is tired and her work is complete. Hers is not a quiet voice. I have no choice. The clearer channel to Gods listening ear is open again. I fought and cried, prayed and pleaded but he stands his ground.
He is quieting my mind telling me its time to say goodbye. Its my turn to release her back into his waiting arms. There are no word but a quiet memory of our time together. Thank you my old friend.

One last walk you and I take. I am meeting God at the gates. What will I see? What will we say? Will I let go?

                                                                                                       

                          FOOTPRINTS IN THE SAND

One night a woman had a dream. She dreamed she was walking along the beach with the LORD. Across the sky flashed scenes from her life. For each scene she noticed two sets of footprints in the sand. One belonging to her and the other to the LORD.

When the last scene of her life flashed before her, she looked back at the footprints in the sand. She noticed that many times along the path of her life there was only one set of footprints. She also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times of her life.

This really bothered her and she questioned the LORD about it. LORD you said that once I decided to follow you, you’d walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints. I don’t understand why when I needed you most you would leave me.

The LORD replied, my precious, precious child, I Love you and I would never leave you! During your times of trial and suffering when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.

 

 

 

 

Passing this on from DAILY PROMPT: Write a post that includes dialogue between two people — other than you. (For more of a challenge, try three or more people.)

Image

She: I found it!
He: You found it? Where was it?
She: In my eye.
Him: In her eye?
He: In her eye!
Him: Well done my sweet….
He: Not her left eye?
Him: It had gone round the side.
He: I knew it hadn’t gone far!

ACCEPTING CHANGE GRACEFULLY

“LIFE”!

One definition is from the 20th century philosophy,

The meaning of life is the attempts to reevaluate ones human existence”!

We all see “Life” differently, it’s what makes us unique and continue to grow in mind and soul.  What would life be without change? It amazes me how hard it is for humanity to accept change. God created this existence around change and yet its the hardest concept for humanity to accept. I believe all religions are right in some principles but wrong in others. We are so certain our way is right that we cannot let ourselves accept a different view.  The majority of mankind has convinced ourselves that if we accept portions of other beliefs then our foundation is unstable. It has hardened the hearts of many religious groups around the world, creating cults of different degrees. This is the reason for wars and pain within our world , country, families and within ones self.

Growing up, I was taught

“DONT POUND YOUR STAKES IN SO DEEP THAT YOU CANT PULL THEM OUT IF YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE WRONG”! 

The truth is in front of us and so easy a child can understand but the idea of change is the hardest notion for humans to grasp. We call ourselves a higher species and yet the animal kingdom adapts and evolves so much faster.

We are killing  our planet, our races, our families, ourselves. How may times? How many times must we repeat the human cycle before we rise to the GOD existence?

I believe we can have our values in our spiritual beliefs and apply the portions of great values in other beliefs.

I am sharing, in what I believe is truth, two of the most beautiful religious concepts that can be applied in ANY way of life:Yin Yang

 Hinduism meaning of life is tied up in the concepts of karma, The goal is to know ones true self and accept the changes freely.  This concept allows all to change within and accept others, for their journey is different.

Buddhism meaning of life is to embrace with mindfulness the suffering and well-being in ones life. To see the causes of suffering and well-being. Buddhist believe the causes of ones suffering is an unhealthy attachment to objects, material or non-material.  They speak not about the meaning of life but about the potential of human life to end suffering. The Buddhists have a term known as “Nirvana”, meaning freedom from both suffering and rebirth.

I am reminded of the story:

The blind men and the Elephant

A number of disciples went to the Buddha and said, “Sir, there are living here in Savatthi many wandering hermits and scholars who indulge in constant dispute, some saying that the world is infinite and eternal and others that it is finite and not eternal, some saying that the soul dies with the body and others that it lives on forever, and so forth.  What, Sir, would you say concerning them?”

The Buddha answered, “Once upon a time there was a certain raja who called to his servant and said, ‘Come, good fellow, go and gather together in one place all the men of Savatthi who were born blind… and show them an elephant.’  ‘Very good, sire,’ replied the servant, and he did as he was told. He said to the blind men assembled there, ‘Here is an elephant,’ and to one man he presented the head of the elephant, to another its ears, to another a tusk, to another the trunk, the foot, back, tail, and tuft of the tail, saying to each one that that was the elephant.

“When the blind men had felt the elephant, the raja went to each of them and said to each, ‘Well, blind man, have you seen the elephant? Tell me, what sort of thing is an elephant?’

“Thereupon the men who were presented with the head answered, ‘Sire, an elephant is like a pot.’  And the men who had observed the ear replied, ‘An elephant is like a winnowing basket.’  Those who had been presented with a tusk said it was a ploughshare. Those who knew only the trunk said it was a plough; others said the body was a grainery; the foot, a pillar; the back, a mortar; the tail, a pestle, the tuft of the tail, a brush.

“Then they began to quarrel, shouting, ‘Yes it is!’  ‘No, it is not!’  ‘An elephant is not that!’  ‘Yes, it’s like that!’ and so on, till they came to blows over the matter.

“Brethren, the raja was delighted with the scene.

“Just so are these preachers and scholars holding various views blind and unseeing….  In their ignorance they are by nature quarrelsome, wrangling, and disputatious, each maintaining reality is thus and thus.”

Then the Exalted One rendered this meaning by uttering this verse of uplift,

    O how they cling and wrangle, some who claimFor preacher and monk the honored name!For, quarreling, each to his view they cling. Such folk see only one side of a thing.

Moral:

“We have to remember that what we observe is not nature in itself, but nature exposed to our method of questioning.”

No two humans life story are the same and yet we are prone to want control over another, so certain our path is the right one for all.

BE CAREFUL WITH A MOTHERS HEART

Heart“Be careful with a Mothers Heart”

One of the hardest stepping stones in a moms life is when you realize your children cross that invisible line to where they don’t need you anymore. That logical side of the mom says, “I am so proud”, then the emotion side feels a blade sear through your core saying, “I need to know they need me”!  When you say to your child, “lets go to dinner”, and the response is, “oh I will have to see if I am busy”, you have to swallow hard and remind yourself “you were young once too”!

You go through the silence within and just about the time you wonder your worth, there is a knock at the door, “hi mom, just checkin on you”, then the wheel turns and you are proud of the child you raised.

“Be careful with a Mothers Heart”.

Life, isn’t it a funny ol world!

Tam